Archive for March, 2011

Making Headway

Saturday, March 5th, 2011

Since I wrote the last post about my deviant snacking behavior, I’ve forced myself to be more aware of how frequently I’m eating in the afternoon/early evening. I think just admitting to the world that I have a problem has compelled me to face the issue head-on… and work to fix it.

So far, so good!

There are two main obstacles to escaping my snacking hell: 1) Habit and 2) Boredom.

Eating frequently between lunch and dinner has become a routine for me. For instance, every day around 3 or 4, I leave my office and go downstairs to get myself a cup of tea and a snack. I take them both back up to my office and continue working until about 5 (when I usually get another snack!). This week, I’ve forced myself to either not go downstairs at all, or to stop at the cup of tea and just go back upstairs without getting something to chew on.

I’ve started staying in my office later than usual, too – more like 6pm than my usual 5pm. This is good because it’s less time that I’m bored and looking for something to do with my hands, plus I get more work done and make more money (except when I get sucked in to playing Zuma Blitz on Facebook…)

I will still eat a snack if I’m actually hungry, but I’m pushing myself to first ask myself if I am hungry, or if I just want to eat because it’s habit or I’m bored. The fact of the matter is: I like eating, and I have to be more aware of when I’m eating on autopilot, or I will never reach my goals.

Thank you all for your support and commiseration! It makes me feel more normal, and that goes a long way!

Struggling.

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

Let me tell you (and by ‘you’ I mean the 2 of you who are still reading this): I am STRUGGLING.

In general, I eat well. I cleaned up most of my bad eating habits a few years ago when I decided to make a change with myself and my life. I removed high calorie junk foods, reduced portion sizes, started cooking more, ate more vegetables and whole grains, seriously cut back on snacking, cut out the vast majority of processed foods – and nearly all processed foods containing additives & preservatives (like the dreaded high fructose corn syrup).

I’m still doing great with most of those things.It’s the snacking that’s getting me.

I can’t seem to stop! They’re all healthy snacks, there are just way too many of them. Between the hours of about 3 & 7, I eat.

And eat.

And eat.

And eat.

Each time I eat, I choose a healthy snack, and a reasonable amount of it. But that doesn’t satisfy me. So I pick something else to eat. Still healthy, still a reasonable amount, but another one. And that doesn’t satisfy me, either. So the pattern continues.

Let me give you a specific example: Yesterday, on my way home from a meeting at about 3pm, I ate a granola bar that I happened to still have in my purse from when I was out of town last week. After I got home, I worked until about 5, when I ate a banana, with the teeniest smear of peanut butter and a sprinkling of granola. Fifteen minutes later, I ate the last of some home fries leftover from Sunday’s breakfast. An hour after that, I ate a grapefruit. Not long after that, I had ANOTHER granola bar (different flavor!). Then I went to Kung Fu, so I had a break from food for about 2 hours, at which time I had dinner.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!

Now, granted, yesterday was worse than usual, but this is not a new thing. I know I wasn’t actually hungry for each of those snacks. So what was I doing? Why was I shoving food in my mouth even though I didn’t actually want it?

I was bored. And I like eating. And that’s all that mattered at that point in time.

I thought I had a better handle on the mental aspect of food and had control of my eating habits. I guess I still have some work to do!

I’m certainly not back at the beginning. At least all of my snacks are healthy now!

It’s so very frustrating though. As I scoured the kitchen for my next snack, I thought about how I wasn’t hungry. That I was just bored. And that this is the exact reason that I’ve been bouncing up and down with my weight, losing and gaining the same 5 pounds for months and months on end.

But did that keep me from eating what I wanted to eat? Not even a little.

Think I need therapy?