I have an older sister. She’s not a lot older – just two years. Growing up I both worshipped her and resented her. She was everything I wanted to be: Smart, pretty, popular, athletic.
Thin.
I remember one time when I was about 14, my family put up some foreign missionaries for the weekend. One man from Bulgaria or some such pulled my father aside, and when he thought everyone else was out of ear shot, said in his thick Russian accent, “Your daughter is very beautiful… The older one.”
Harrumph.
That was more than 10 years ago, and I can remember it like it was yesterday, because it so perfectly captures how I felt compared to her. It was really tough growing up in the shadow of what I wanted to be. And of course she was a great sister, too, so I couldn’t even really hate her. The bitch, lol.
I’m ashamed to admit that when I started losing weight, I was giddy at the prospect that – thanks to my hard work and a little help from weight she put on during pregnancy – I might be able to catch up to her and even become smaller than her.
Then something changed in me: I stopped wanting to ‘beat’ my sister, and rather wanted us both to be healthy and happy with our bodies. We started encouraging each other and challenging each other to do better and be better. When I visited we would go to the gym together – something that was previously unheard of.
My sister recently had a second daughter, and we are now within a single pound of each other. When I heard that, I immediately told her I’d race her to 150, which happens to be both of our goals.
Even though I was mostly joking when I initially said it, I got to thinking and decided this was a pretty good idea! My family is incredibly competitive, and I figured a little healthy competition would hold us accountable and help us both reach our goals. I know that I don’t want to be the fat sister again, and I’m sure she doesn’t want to become the fat one after a lifetime of being the thin one.
Since we were both at about 175 at the time, I decided going all the way to 150 would take too long to be an effective challenge, so we changed it to 165 and are on our way! Last week I weighed in at 171 and she at 171.2 – so close! When one of us reaches 165, we’re both going out for a manicure and pedicure purchased by the loser.
I hope she’s not offended or embarrassed by anything here. My sister is one of my favorite people, and I’m glad that in the last few years I was finally able to shed my own insecurities and stop competing with her.
Except when I’m actually competing with her.
